former flame

20:33
august 7, 2012

i never came to the point
that i admitted to anyone that i am still in love with my former flame
i just never came to the point

it was really hard for me to utter those dangerous words to anyone
i really dont know anymore

i’m fearful of the idea
that i might just be saying that because i miss her
that i just miss having someone in my life
that i miss someone who really understands me
that i long to be with someone who i really connect to

i honestly dont know the difference between all those things
and love

as much as i hurt
as much as i feel lonely
i dont want to be rash
i dont want to go to something that i am not sure about
especially when it concerns another person

i dont want to put emotional stress on her
i dont want to put emotional stress on myself
i dont want to go back on something i said
just to bet on something i’m not sure that is there

i dont know if i want us or i just miss us then
i dont know if i want her or i just want her then

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