What is a friend?

What is a friend?

Friends come from different places. Acquaintances, friends, best friends, lovers, and ex-lovers are just some of the ways we try to categorize the people we have a relationship with. Some common groups of friends we have are our elementary school friends, high school friends, friends from the university, workplace friends, people we met in organizations, and our neighbors. But my question is what really defines a friend.

Is it someone you constantly talk with or someone you constantly talk to? Or is it even someone who we don’t often communicate with? Are they the people we are comfortable to do anything with? Or are they the people we try to show our best side to? Do we constantly do things to please them? Are our friends someone who supports us in whatever we do? Or are friends someone who tells us that we we are doing is wrong? Do our friends need to be in the same group? Or are true friends the people we don’t think of as just part of our group? Are friends someone who would cover our asses? Or someone who rats us out to the people we love the most?

I actually don’t know the right answers but I’ll share a story about someone who I consider one of my dearest friends.

(names will be changed for anonymity)
Her name is Machi. She was my university classmate. We were actually not in the same group of friends but she was the girlfriend of a close friend of mine. What really gave us a chance to be close was when they broke up and she needed someone to talk to. Then we became close and even teased each other as “best friends” because we didn’t like such labels or terms of familiarity.

I had a girlfriend at that time, lets call her “Yuki”, who was also my classmate. Yuki and Machi were not really close friends but they respected each other. Long story short, I cheated on Yuki. I met with my ex-girlfriend and had one night of… well you know. My ex-girlfriend, Jamie, was single at that time but she knew about Yuki. Naturally, we agreed to keep it a secret. A few days later, when I went to the library to see Yuki in the spot we usually see each other, I saw her crying with a common friend. I tried to talk to Yuki and asked her what was wrong. She didn’t say anything and just continued to cry. Her friend begged me to leave so I did. My heart raced and I became angry. So I called my ex, Jamie, and asked her if she told anybody. She said that she never told anyone and me being a total moron, believed her. Maybe someone saw us? Maybe I sent an incriminating message to someone by accident? Maybe Yuki read the messages on my phone? Maybe someone read the messages on Jamie’s phone? All the possibilities raced through my mind.

After a few days/weeks of silence with Yuki, she confronted me. She sent me a message that she wanted to talk. So I met her. Without hesitation, she told me that she knows about Jamie and I. She asked me if it is true. I lied to her. The worst lie I told in my life. She started to cry and said that someone she trusts told her. She just wanted me to admit it so she can move on with her life. I nodded my head. She started to cry more but now because of anger. I remember how sad and angry she looked. And with one strong swing, she punched my right in my jaw and left. I deserved it.

Most of my friends in class stopped talking to me. I remained silent. Nobody even tried to talk to me nor do I blame them for doing so. Yuki was well loved by our class and now I hurt her. Their love for Yuki soon turned to hatred for me. One day, Machi sent me a message inviting me for drink. She told me that she had something important to tell me. Unaware of the weight she has been carrying, I met her. We started drinking and after she got enough liquid courage, she told me something that I never would have expected. She was the one who told Yuki about Jamie and me. Jamie’s male bestfriend knew about it and because he was courting Machi, he told Machi. And since Machi knew that it was the best thing for everyone, she directly told Yuki.

I was so shocked. But the first thing I did was to hug Machi. I thanked her for doing something I was too afraid of doing. Nobody will ever believe me but after I saw Jamie again, I hated myself for doing so and I wanted to tell Yuki. Machi was my friend for telling Yuki. Machi wanted me to be a man and face reality. I appreciate her for that. I love her for that.

This was around 6 years ago. I asked Yuki for forgiveness and she gave me another chance and we lasted for 4 years. I don’t get to talk with Machi often because she moved to a different country but we would sometimes talk. I dedicate this post to me friend. Machi. Thank you.

 

My Bestfriend

My Bestfriend

Flames of Passion

http://www.realitydefined.com/images/things/burning-match.jpg

Feb 18, 2013
23:34

Love… Nothing new to see here.
But i just want to remind myself about love.
That love, sometimes can be a mirage.
It tricks us into thinking that we are in love with someone
but in fact we are utterly oblivious to the truth.

Former flames or flames that seek to reconnect.
they are prone to the fallacy
of loving the person who they knew before
and not the person in the present.
Such a fallacy is committed usually when people
can’t let go of the past or can’t accept that people change.

Burning flames, young and old, are open to the dangers
of committing the fallacy of loving one’s idea of the person
and not who the person really is.
Lovers of the brightest flame always want to be the best.
They try to project an image of themselves to their partners
so that the flame burns on.
But the brightness of the flame might be blinding you
and the image if your lover might be far from the truth.

Dying flames, these are still open to danger.
They are in danger of committing the tragic fallacy of
loving our hopes for our diminishing relationship.
During dire times we try our best to stay positive
and dying flames may fool us into loving the hope
that our partners will change for the relationship.

And the extinguished flame of a spent match…
Simple…
The fallacy of confusing hope from hopeless.

50 Shades (Personal Quiz Time)

Snagged this questionnaire from kimboxin

Play along if you dare!

1. Your very first car?  I never really owned my own car. I still drive my parent’s car.

2. Your first friend?  He was my neighbor. We used to ride our bikes and watch tv together. He is now a doctor.

3. Item you have that you have had longer than anything else? I guess the oldest item that I still have is a wallet strap with skulls. I stole it from a shop when I was in highshcool

4. What you order the most at Starbucks? Peppermint mocha

5. Body parts that are double jointed?  I don’t know

6. Name a shortcut that you take in your daily routine? Sometimes, I don’t complete my weekday workouts.

7. Lets say you become the opposite sex for one day. What would you do? If i’ll be a beautiful and sexy woman, i’ll try to flirt with guys and see how much they would give or do for me.

8. Craziest place you had sex? Two. On the office pantry (it was late at night). Or in a secluded place on campus. (we had insect bites after)

9. What was/ is your favorite subject in highschool? Nothing in particular

10. Your very first pet?  The first that I could remember was an orange stray cat.

11. The first toy you have memory of? I still remember my first stuffed toy bear called “Bear”.

12. What do you spend most of your day doing? Work. As every drone does. But aside from that, thinking of proofs that I am not insane.

13. What channel on TV do you watch the most?   I don’t really watch tv. I just watch the news.

14. What friend do you miss the most? Most of my closest friends now live in other countries like the US, the middle east, and other more developed countries.

15. What is your favorite holiday? New Year, definitely new year.

16. What would be your ideal day? If not simply playing video games non-stop, it would have to be just chilling by the beach with friends.

17. Tennis shoes or sandals? Nether.

18. Favorite alcoholic beverage and why? Local beer I guess. I really like the taste of San Miguel Pale Pilsen. Or maybe Jack Daniels. I haven’t really tasted a whole lot of alcoholic beverages.

19. Slow dance or fast dance? I seldom dance. And when I do,people laugh. I don’t blame them.

20. what was/ is your best age so far? What makes the best the best? Maybe when I die, that would be the best? I’m not suicidal or anything, maybe it will just be the end of my life, no matter how great or uneventful it might or may have been.

21. Who is a celebrity you hate? Hate is an emotion that I don’t think I have ever felt before.

22. Name your favorite crime show?  Crime show?

23. Who do you wish would show up at your door today?  My friends who now lives in other countries.

24. What do you put in your taco? I don’t have a taco.

25. What is your best trait?  What might be best for my might be the worst for other people. I guess I’m an honest person.

26. What is your opinion of Peewee Herman?  I never got into his comedy. Meaning the character, not the actor

27. 50 Shades of Grey anyone?  Never read

28. What is your guilty pleasure? I enjoyed watching sex and the city. I like how they presented relationships.

29. How many times have you been in love. Explain? Define love. I was in about 6 relationships in the past. Some were romantic relationships. Some were just carnal relationships. Go figure

30. If you could choose between 20 new pairs of sweatpants or 2 new pairs of dress pants which would you choose? I never wear sweatpants so I want my dress pants now!

31. How much do you know about your neighbors? They own a college and the widower likes loud motorcycles

32. How much do your neighbors know about you? I’ll wait for them to answer this question.

33. How do you organize your underwear drawer?  Who said I do?

34. Earliest childhood memory? Playing in mud

35. Where is the best place you have lived so far? In the philippines, people seldom live away from their parents except when they marry. And I’m not married, so Philippines is still the place to be.

36. What kind of car do you drive and where do you drive it? My parent’s cars.

37. If you won the lottery who would you share it with and why? No. I won’t tell anyone significant and I’ll just invest it and live off the profits.

38. What is your karaoke song? Beatles and Carpenters

39. How old do you feel?  As old as fuck

40. Massage, shopping trip or fishing trip?  I’d love a fishing trip. I’m a lazy outdoors kind of guy

41. What is your go to comedy show?  Everybody loves raymond or the Simpsons

42. What do you hum/ sing around the house?  I heard it through the grapevine

43. Spend 2 hours at Walmart or 30 minutes online shopping? I don’t shop

46. Spring or Autumn?   Philippines

47. Tell about a bad dream. I remember seeing a green gate and when I turned around, I saw something revolving and I had to catch it everytime it goes near the gate. As it revolves, it increases in size and soon, it becomes a giant ball of mass that I am not able to catch anymore. I guess what made me scared was the idea that I will not be able to catch it anymore.

48. Book you read as a child?  Science books

49. Most embarrassing moment? I was looking at a CD in the store and when I rested my hands to my sides, my hand accidentally slapped a sales lady’s butt who was coincidentally bending over. I couldn’t say anything but sorry and I quickly left the store.

50. What position do you sleep in? On my side, with a pillow between my knees and an eyemask.

 

all the information shared here is considered shared in trust